Yo LeT's PlAy MaFiA
by omgpink
Summary: HIBARIxOC Crackfic. Parody of khr romance FANFICS. Hibari/ Mukuro/ Chrome/ FATELAIDE-whoops, I mean Adelaide/ ULTIMATE MARY-SUE OC. This makes fun of OC fanfics. WARNING: Written in American ghetto slang, which includes bad grammar and spelling.
1. Chapter 1

Yo LeT's PlAy MaFiA

Aight. ok. SO once there was this runty kid right, and he was, like, ttly wimpy, right? But the six dudes he like guy hung outs with were GEORGEEOUUSS!!!!!!11!!!1!!1!11!11! Especially the guys Hibari and Mukuro, right? (HANDS OFF THERE MINE) Well, they were all wicked hy on mafia shit wrestling in mud with their shirts off and looking ttly sexy because the wierd bug-eyed baby said to. Any wayz this pretty girl (BUT NOT AS PRETTY AS ME. HELL SHE LUKS LKA DEFORMED FURBY COMAPRED TO ME!!!!!) Came out of no where and waz like "oohhh I need ooooooorrrrrrgggaaannnnZ" and Muki's like "yo, I got this," an the then this crackhead doctor izzzz like "NOOOOOOOO!"

Anyhow, Muki skips off with his wierd pokey spear. And then this AMAZINGLI bOOTiful chik who lukz hella exactly like M3e appears. AND EverYone just can't get over how ttly preety shez. And like that dude hibari (HE's MINE HANDS OFF), whz like the only one with real ballz is liek

"Who r u?"

and shes like "Svetlana" and everyone couldn't believe how good she looked and wz like "shez mmmiiinnee," especially hibari.

And shez like "OMG sTOP STARing AT mE" and the Hibari is llike at her neck making a hiiickey. ANd she like is HOLY CRAP and hits him with SUM apple PIE and gooey aples drip down his sexy asss face.


	2. Chapter 2

Yo LeTs PlAy MaFiA

ok, so OMG Svetlana's dad comZ out of no whereZ ands like dammn rippedd and mad r$$$$$ch ands got this sick PIMPCHAIN and was the king of some country and had a real sexy ass accent ands like so ttly on it. And Chrome's like "orgaannszzz". Mukuros all fuck this and dissappears like a whiny bitch cuz Svetlana's dads so friggin GORGEOUZ. (BUUUUT HIBARI IS WAY FOREVERY THE MOST GORGEOUS!111!!!!!!11!!111)

So Svetlana's dad is like "My daughter must marry a Vongola Guardian."

and hibari's like "damn STREIGHT" CUZ sVETLANA IS SO FRIGGIN GOORRHEOUS. Cuz HB (ALL MINE NO TOUCHY) s like the really REALLY HAET guardian, Svetlana's "i WaNt To Be HaPpY". But HB can make chicks freakin dance naked up on him, so no biggie.

Then this lemonade ho with nasty greaZy hair and way gross basketball BoObIeS is like "DIE DIE you are so Off ma Fav Fiv Svetlana!" and svetlana's like, ok.

aight Svetlana and Hibari r TTLY official now. And Hibari's like all "Yo, I'm ttly marrying her" and Yamamoto's like "Legit?" and HB''s like "shut the fuck up" and Yamamotos like "BALLIN!"

svetlana say "don't be so mean" but Hibari gazes into the farthest reaches of her soul and she knows she is his, all his.


	3. Chapter 3

Yo LeTs PlAy MaFiA

okkkaay. i likez spelled thiz word wrong in da last chappy. it was lemonade. nywayz it SHOULD have been _**Adelaide**_, so get off my friiggin ass you jealous hATERS cuz YOU ttly cannot write as good as MEE33EE. But man, ADELAIDE GETS ON MY NERVes!! she ttly deserved it

ok so the freakishly tall ADELAIDE is like ttly diggin hott and sexxxy Hibari while he was DEVOURinG Svetlana in kisses cuz he luvs her like so so much. so she's like suuuuppperr mad. "Get off ma maaaan you dumassho svetlana" But, like, Svetlana can ttly handle her, ya know.

well, all of a sudden, adelaide get reeeeeaaaallllyyyy scared. the ugerly girl, weightd down by her massive boobage, shrivels in fear of the future. because she knew I WAS AFTER HER! BEING THE AUTHOR **ROX**!!!!!

"whats that smell?" the most bootyful Svetlana asked.

Yamamoto knows. "yo, gross Adelaide. Now tsuna's mom has to change yur diaper."

"as if whatever get the picture duhhhhh" says adalaide idiodically.

Then adelaide seez a bird. she says "oooo birdy pretty" and trys to get it with her metal fan, cuz her brain is the size of a peenut. so she, like acidentaly hurts it and it falls to the ground and its twitching n stuff and she has like absolutly no compassion for it whatsoever and this really pisses off HB like so much that he stops kissing the luvely princess svetlana. he like grabs fatalaide's ankle and flings her into a giant boiling pot of elephant diarrhea.

So adelaide decides to think, but cuz she's adelaide, it diint go off too well.

She hatched a plan, a plan to STEALL HIBARI FROM SVETLANA (**SHUUUUNNN SHUN**) but she had flames in her eyes and nuthing could stop her. She decides to challenge Svetlana to a BIIIITCH FIGHT and ttly embarress her, only she ttly wouldn't.

First, She flashes her invisble thong hoping to gain allies. Then she applies more gel to her ghetto ass ponytail.

Then, she almosted shouted "MA MILKSHAX BRING ALL THA BOYZ TO THE YARD, DAMRIGHT THEEIR BETTA THAN YOURS" and flail her chest like a dying fish.

BUT She was all of a sudden forced to kiss that wierd fat scientist giovanni from the future (thanks lambo yur not a Useless stupid cow] AND COULDNT FLAME ME, I MEAN SVETLANA.

eewwwwww pooor giovanni. He'll need shamal l8r.

"THUNDER THIGHS!" yells Tsuna.

"CONDOM TIGHTS!" yells gokudera.

"Are your eyebrows drawn on?" says svetlana.

"HOOCHIE-MAMA" yells yamamoto.

"MARY-SUE!" yells Reborn

"ANNA NICOLE SMITH!" Ryohei yells.

And all of a sudden, there is a hissing sound. her lady lumpz deflate and shrivel up like old dry prunes... auuugghghh too bad adelaide.

Maybe next time.

heheheheheheheh.

None of the guardians have any shirts on and are all attracted to Svetlana. Thank goodness Hibari is protecting her while they make continuous eye contact. There hair blows in the wind and He wants her now more than fucken ever.


	4. Chapter 4

Yo LeTs PlAy MaFiA

Fatelaide went far faaaaarr away back ta her land of beer and yodelerz. Shez like"YIPPEE I lost wait" cuz her boobz were sooooooooooooo small fer now. She waz suuuuuupper x-cited buts like no boyz wanted to take her ta their canday shop anymore, specially yamamoto.

So nowz, its just the mosts omg hawt Svetlana and Hibari whoz getting an orgy juz lookin at her.

"TaKe Me, YoU bIg HuNk oF mAn"

"but you deserve better my chickky bear, HB wailz.

Sudnly, ponyboi comes out of nowhere z

Tshhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tshhh

Tsh

Tsh

Tshhhhhh

Tshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tshhhhhhhhhh

Tshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tshhh

Tsh

tshhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tshh

Tsh

…

Tsh

Tsh

Hes sprayin some tag.

"Iya Dino FUCKKING CAVALONEY. I wanna woman! YO HB! Hook me up wid thiz chick. Imma supaman dat ho."

'oh no you diii-int' says HB with his mmanly pissed off face. but ponyboi don't give a shit. 'puuull ma finga' he ggiigglz and hez all sleazy to the numba one OC on this freakin site. How dare he! HBs gonna go nazi on his ass.

But sudnly, Fatelaide swoops out of nowhere! Her boobage gone batman! Oh no!

'I have BOOBS OF STEEL!" an she grops em and starts washin a car.

And yamamotos like que te pasa sexxxi mama

'Enma told me to come here while I was taking a shower. He always calls when I'm taking a shower, and then millions of girls who read KHR see my Barbie doll figure when they just want to see all you hot boys half-naked. They get very jealous. And now I'm smart."

Shit.

But dino trips up an kizzes her and she tastes like mayo and nanny goat again.

'I likez u' she says rippin off her slutsuit. Good thing ponybois gotta a horse. And so Hibari turns backkk to his dearrrrr gf.

"I am yours and only yours forever ever and ever and ever." And they eat eachothas faces with steamy kisses.


	5. Chapter 5

Such a late update GUYS! BIT OMMGGGGZZ LIKEE I HAD THIS DREAM RIGHT? Me and Hibari. And it inspired mee too FINALLY WRITE becz omgf I hate writing.

Svetlana was run run running away from something and thenn, I saw a body on the ground tight in a balnket which made her heart STOPPP! and she tripped over to him and noticed it was hibari and then she was like, homg, are ou okay! and curled up next to him he was warm an smelled gooooooood.

"Do you love me? he asked all gruff and drowsy like l-decaprio, only HE WOULDINT LET GO. And I just wanted to say YES YES YES but I said no and then there was dis complete and total misunderstanding (becauzz muki was all up in dis club right and never got any ass, so then he came after Svetlana because she look like the chick he loved in a previousss lifetime wtf but she has hair the colur of hibird.)

"I hate my life," she said miserable, and it was totally unfair. Cuuz like omg, she totally deserved better. Bucuz like even though she was this uber rich, beautiful princess, you no, THAT COULD BE LAME SUMTIMES!


End file.
